8 Tips for Overcoming Shyness

When you’re shy you may appear unsure of yourself or as if you’re lacking confidence in a situation. Although you can see that others seem to be relaxed and having a good time socially, you haven’t yet found the solution to your own shyness.

Following these tips will help you overcome your shyness:

1.  Recognize your shyness.

Your brain chemistry might be out of balance, causing you to be highly sensitive to social situations. Realizing that your shyness isn’t completely your fault will enable you to overcome your reserved approach in dealing with others.

2.  Avoid negative self-talk.

In order to decrease feelings of shyness, you’d be wise to nix the negative things you say to yourself. Replace your negative thoughts with positive ones.

• For example, rather than thinking things like, “Here we go again. I am still uncomfortable talking to others at parties,” say, “This time is different because I will speak to someone at the party when I first arrive.”

3.  Take your time.

Walking quickly across the room can reinforce your insecure feelings. Plus, it can make you feel as if you’re trying to run away from something or someone.

• Instead, saunter slowly around the room and allow yourself to adjust to your current social situation. Behaving as if you have confidence helps you feel more confident.

4.  Give yourself a minute.

Allow yourself time to reflect on a question you’ve been asked, so you can gather your thoughts before sharing your response. It’s okay to take a deep breath and think before answering a question.

5.  Take initiative.

If you see a friendly face, say, “Hello” first and ask them how they’re doing or what their connection is to the hostess. You can break out of your world of shyness by starting a simple conversation with someone.

• Also, it can be easier for you to show initiative if you consider that others at the party may feel like you. So, taking initiative not only helps you, it helps others, too.

6.  Watch your body language.

Those who are shy try to blend into the walls and disappear by slouching or staying in a corner away from the action. Instead, keep your head up and your shoulders tall. Slouching will make you look shy, but standing up with conviction will help you appear and feel more confident.

7.  Breathe deeply.

How you breathe can affect how you feel. Shallow breathing tends to cause anxious feelings, which will likely also fuel your shy feelings.

• If you can gain control of your breathing by inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly, you’ll be able to feel your body and mind relax. This simple exercise will make a big difference in expelling feelings of shyness.

By instituting these eight methods, you can overcome your shyness and interact more effectively with others. Instead of being a wilting wallflower at your next party, you’ll emerge with blossoming confidence. Crawl out of your shell today!

8.  Practice at home first.

Face the mirror, smile confidently, and extend your hand. Say, “Hi, I’m Sam,” and show that you’re happy to meet someone. Remind yourself to make eye contact and use your listening skills.

• If you’re nervous about giving a presentation in front of an audience, practice at home beforehand. You’ll feel more familiar with your material and less hesitant about it.