What makes a person happy? It’s common knowledge by now that depending on material possessions does not bring happiness, but there is more involved in finding that elusive feeling that every human on this planet is striving for.

Happiness is not found by acquiring and doing things. Indeed, happiness is often found more by not doing certain things. There is a definite set of emotions, actions and situations that deplete one’s happiness, and giving up those things are virtually guaranteed to turn that frown upside down.

Here are 11 Things to Give Up if You Want to be Happy:

1. Stress

Stressful situations are a normal part of life, but how you react to them makes all of the difference. Instead of letting stress eat away at your happiness (and your health), change your perception of the situation. Allowing yourself to have a flexible view of each situation makes it easier to find an alternate, successful solution.

Give yourself at least a few moments in the day to unwind and gather your thoughts. Keep stress in perspective. Spend time with people who make you feel optimistic.

2. Control

Being controlling is a trait of people who fear unhappiness, but ironically it welcomes unhappiness in their lives. It is impossible to control everything around you; the world is too big.

Attempting to control every detail of your life (and the lives of others) stops you from enjoying the flow of life. Controlling everything also holds the impending breakdown that occurs when an individual or situation inevitably does something out of your control.

3. Excuses

Excuses waste the time of both the receiver and the teller of the excuses. Making excuses to yourself cheats you out of things that you want but find reasons not to do. Make yourself happy and go past the excuses and accomplish what you need and want. Make the people who would like to depend on you happy by fulfilling things that you’ve agreed on instead of letting small hindrances stop you.

4. Grudges

Letting things go is a key to having a heart light enough to allow happiness to shine through. No matter the level of hurt a person has placed on you, forgiving helps you much more than constantly reminding yourself of the pain that was brought upon you. Embrace what happened and move on to the next moments in life. Understand the painful situation and use it as a lesson on how to avoid it in the future.

5. Procrastination

Procrastination takes the joy out of life because when you do not complete an act, it nags at you until it is done. Procrastination starts the cycle of guilt and tears at your self-esteem, which will likely prevent you from ever getting the task done. Instead of avoiding the task, take it head on and complete the hardest part first. Break down the task in smaller pieces if the act seems overwhelming, and soon you’ll look and realize the task is complete.

6. People Pleasing

While keeping other people happy around you complements your happiness, doing what you need to do for yourself creates the most happiness in your life. Don’t allow yourself to get caught up in the whims of others while ignoring what keeps you happy. You owe it to yourself.

7. Trying to be Someone You’re Not

The world is made of people with their own quirks and originality; celebrate yourself and be who you were made to be. Societal pressures may make you feel as if you’ll receive more happiness by doing like the others do, but it won’t if it doesn’t fit with your happiness.

8. Toxic Relationships

Happiness involves others, but relationships with the wrong people can drain you of your joy. Stay away from people that constantly make you feel bad. Recognize that you don’t have to see them as bad people, but they just aren’t right for you.

Pay attention to how you feel when you are around them. If you feel sad, tired or anxious, you are in a toxic relationship with them. Toxic relationships can include significant others, friends and even family.

9. Regrets

No one is perfect. You will make mistakes. Bad decisions are a part of the trials and errors of life. Learn from each mistake and use that as a lesson to make a better decision next time. Some things can happen that are out of your control; accept it, and concentrate on better opportunities.

10. Being Hard On Yourself

Realizing that you will not always excel in a situation and that it is a fact of life will maintain your happiness. Realizing also that you are not the best at everything but that you are still an exceptional human being is conducive to happiness.

There is nothing wrong with holding yourself to high standards, but don’t berate yourself to the point of bitterness when things don’t always go exceeding well.

11. Comparison

You are a unique individual; don’t compare yourself to others and consider yourself lesser than them just because they do some things better than you, may appear more attractive to others, have more money than you, etc. You’d be surprised to know that you may envy one person for one reason while that same person envies you for another reason.

Each situation will be different for each person. Appreciate the differences and circumstances in your own life and congratulate others on accomplishments, an consider your own situation and equally celebrate your own personal successes.